i was quite restless and beat up this morning, but now i'm the exact opposite.
quite a few things have been happening that i sadly didn't get a chance to talk about on here--starting with a wonderful night of wine and music and dancing ("cigarettes and songs" as one charming followill would say)--i heard about some of my drunken revelations ("you don't tell me anything" or "you put a wall between people and yourself" and such)--and then we had a charming morning (running through the morning jam of the city, being late, being angry, then laughing uncontrollably, then sipping tea, then making your way through streets as innocent as they get--horses chasing around ghosts through summer heat and my tough old country women shoo-ing them as one does to a cat, being ignored as you struggle to order coffee, being in between a dog fight, or a song game, or something else compeletely out of the box)--so that was all great.
then the day before we were enjoying a few cigarettes by this wonderful spot that i had never been before--"somewhere ages and ages hence"--and i looked at the way the school looked from afar--and it was beautiful--poetic--the whole robert frost thing to its core--makes you understand why perception is the only tool through which we see the world--and then something even greater happened, this friend of a friend who was sitting by me staring at this beautiful view took out his ipod and started randomly to listen to music. i knew what music meant, i knew what listening to music meant, it was the most honest and straightforward thing anyone had done to me. i even told him that, though he was slightly embarrassed, i hope he knew what i meant.
we got to talking about the world and all, and i realized there was this Dylan-like vagueness over my ideas, this "screw the world, screw the revolution" attitude--this lack of faith in everyone who thinks as if they don't think enough, or live by what they think enough or something but i said there and i'll say it again it all comes down to your own individual conscience--there is no greater scheme there is no greater movement--the core of it is just me and its just you--all we have to do is to follow ourselves completely and i swear it'll all be better--it's not the society we fight against everyday it's ourselves--it's me--
(a wonderful zepp song just came up on the radio)
then there was today. this secretary general of UN fella--cutest thing ever--came by for a chat. active politics sickens me. the sexiest teacher ever once told us that politics was amoral. it's not amoral--no i don't think so--though morality itself is shady enough but still even morality beats politics--politics is the world in which everyone is immoral and nobody cares
midst of it all a friend of mine who i thought didn't know me that well struck me today by saying "you seem down today" which i responded by a bitter smile--it's good to be cared for, but scary to know that your guards are not that strong and you may be more transparent than you think -- then another friend told me not to be honest-- to which i couldn not really relate at all--it all comes to your personal revolution i suppose i like being at peace at night--and me myself i ain't no easy one to tackle
so as you see--it's been good days--a few minor restlessness concerning the future and all but oh well
be well. be true.
Visions of Johanna from ramonramon on Vimeo.
ps: as of this weekend i'll be launching the bob-week.
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