yesterday was just great. it's that feeling you get when you know you are among the right people, it's priceless. looking upon faces and bright and beatiful and knowing that you are loved among them, and you would be taken care of. treated like a glass vase at times and as the wall to lean against in others. friendships are valuable, delicate things. and you take as much as you give. that's what i notice last night, my dearest angels, they take what i give them and work with it, and manage to love me and call me a friend with that. it's a good feeling. it's home. it's warm.
there is this thing in the pit of my stomach though. unsettling, restless feeling. i've been cruel to people, i've been acting like a spoiled brat, and it works out fine anyways, cause they are family, and they will be with you no matter what, but this constant guilt inside is just killing me. in a way, it makes me happy, to know that i'm decent enough to feel bad about the wrongs i've done, but it also sucks the life out of ya. i mean that, i feel like doing nothing today. i do have to get done with the idiot though, it's been like 3 weeks, and i think fyodor would turn in his grave if don't get with it soon.
just watched the season 4 gag reel of supernatural. as always, they are just adorable. turned my frown upside down a bit. also watched when harry met sally last night. it was fun, but i'm done on the romantic comedies for the next decade or so. too much is just too much.
one of my dearests told me today that she was planning to get me no direction home as a birthday present. i love people who stop for a minute and actually give a damn about what they are getting to the other person. i think it shows how much you care about someone. that's why i love my gals, one had got me a dvd about the gospel years of dylan and the other dostoievski's life story. i love'em, i really do for pondering over things.
CCR are is on as i type these. gotta love that manly, midwest, truck stop type of raw, macho, thick tone of fogerty.
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