it takes a lot to laugh, it takes a plane to cry

airports are funny places.

contrary to the other departing and returning places as train stations, ports and all, they're surprisingly cold and lack any kind of emotion of any sort. i went there today, thinking it'll be hell through and through, all those people on the way to a brand new life--breaking free, heading out you know, getting on the road....strangely, there was nothing. nothing of that sort. there were suitcases, passports and luggage weighing; there were children sleeping on the seats, too much grey was everywhere, people seemed tired and out of place.

you shouldn't depend on airports. airports are gigantic scaled versions of planning, paying, preparing schemes. there's no traveler's spirit there, no impulsive actions, nobody breaks free. it's like...like accepting everything you know. becoming a misplaced piece of an undefined system. see when you throw you bag over your shoulder and take that first step into the bus, that's a different feeling. when you slam the trunk close, when you take your one foot ahead of another--when you still can see the sky and the earth, when you're not stuck in some thousand ton steel box. i don't have anything against planes, don't get me wrong. it just, you know, feels like killing the essence of traveling, the true spark of the journey, of the road.

i stared at that screen with the arrivals and departures, there was nowhere i wanted to be (all right, Moscow maybe, but not now, i have a feeling that it's not now). I think we have an emotional clock too somewhere within that just lets you know when your time's right, and my time just isn't i guess. i don't know what or how or why, but i kinda saw myself today--in a way i hadn't before. I sat on the seats--i watched the people-- it just didn't click.

you shouldn't like airports. you should like that feeling of an eagle spreading its wings apart right in the middle of your chest, you should like hitting the asphalt, you should like chasing the sky, you should like moving, you should like having a home nonetheless, you should hate leaving, but die to leave--but whatever it is, you just shouldn't like airports.