words are violence

so by noon today i have had a huge day already.

it was a beautiful one too. the air was crisp and at times unpleasant--but i looked up instinctively in the morning while struggling to put on my clothes and there i saw the lawless snowflakes--such an amazing sight every year. they had to run some blood tests on mother so we took care of that early in the morning. then something even more wonderful than the snowflakes happened--but the wonderfullness of each was kinda mutually constitutive--we took the train on the way back. now i don't mean the subway or those unpleasantly fast trains that you don't even see where you're going--i mean the old fashioned beautiful wooden seats little stations benches under the snow large colorful writings on the grey walls and tracks miles and miles of train tracks with flowers and dead plants winding up and down.

i'm a land travel kind of person. i cherish those moments stuck in traffic the most--as long as i am seated and have my tunes in my ear. there is something liberating about being on the road--something entirely unattached and drifting--something that allows you to exist entirely to exist. add good (great) music to that and i feed of off the roads. people ask how. i can not seem to tell them that that couple of hours spent on the road are mostly genuinely the greatest hours of my life. anywho--that inspiration i usually find on the bus rides--but i get it now--i get trains now, their beauty, their rootfullness, their poetic nature. i've done so much over the last week or so, but that little train ride for i say 15 minutes was the highlight of my past couple of days. i just didn't feel like getting off ever.

it's not just the trains too. the tracks and the worn out railways and the walls filled with writings and pictures. it feels real. it feels as if others have been there before you. not like the sideways or the cement walls by the highways. it has this--we have a word in turkish that goes as yasanmislik which means--letssee--it means a noun version of 'having lived' or 'containing life lived'--that really sucked as a translation but try to work with it. that's what the railways have a certan amount of yasanmislik.

then i went down and got my walsh ticket. paid a lot more than planned (as usual, i guess i have bad karma on this) still, i say music and books are the only things in this world that deserve proper spending.

so its about 2 in the afternoon now but i'm restfully tired. i had a couple of cups of tea and a huge breakfast--i'll probably get some sleep. tomorrow's a big day. i love you all. enjoy the snow.

enjoy the railroads.