you know i've been to sea before

children!!

have you missed me, my dear ones?

hellbent finals are done. i went to school today and hung out for a few hours--just hanging out, you know, not waiting for a class, not having to study or anything. just drank a cup of coffee, read some joyce, got friendly with people you can only get friendly with within the school. i was supposed to see a teacher but he was no-show, so i'm gonna go back again tomorrow and give it another try. who knows, something good may turn up.

whaddayathink i did the minute i was set free? ravaged the library, of course. though i'm still struggling with joyce--and i hereby declare ulysses the only book that managed to kick my ass--i am holding my breath and trying as hard as i can but i do have to say its a tough one--it's dylan crazy times a thousand. it is beautiful, but it is tough, i do have to say that. anywho--i'm not one that gives up easily on books. you just have to patient with them.

anyways, so i went down to that holy place and went through some stuff i had in mind. i took some poetry for my mother. another i took because a teacher of mine had recommended it to me when i told him that i was uneasy with capitalism seen as democracy's sole founder. then i took some pound--some beautiful pound--i found this wonderful books with all the letters he had written to all these amazing people--eliot, joyce, cummings--you name them, they are in there. i read about 3 pages of it and am in love already.

truth is i had planned this vacation to be a quiet one--you know, lotsa reading, good music, taking some time to myself. but now that tonight arrive i just wanna bottle up and explode. i feel like getting chatty on wine and thinking of dylan songs on my way back--but i don't know--i guess as you get older these things don't mean that much--cause back in the day it was all festivities and charms once the finals ended. now everyone's kinda in their own hazes. not to mention that i guess i don't love people like i used to and they don't love me as they used to so it's all a big mess of detachment--but then again it is better i suppose, with school ending and all that.

i am obsessed with joni.

but i feel like a dry era afoot, a few days or so maybe, i feel like my moods are slightly faltering and that joy and cheerful attitude is slipping away. if i know myself at all i'll be a little down in the upcoming days. that very first few days of nothingness. but you know me, i make the most of all them feelings.

speaking off--i still haven't managed to put an end to that story. it still just floats. perhaps i'll try ending that tonight.

i do love you all. somewhat. cheers.


i feel frightened for some reason.