i couldn't really get into that end of the year mood this year--could be of the lingering warmth of the weather, or the craziness of the scholarly work over the last month. it's been a bit hazy and all, but i woke up real peaceful and slightly rested today so i thought i'd give it a go.
last night a friend of mine said my desire of moving on with everything came from a stream of positivity. which in itself partly true, but i realized it had more to do with not planning ahead. me being a time-obsessive person dividing my hours and days according to tasks if i had to and all--i am the least furutre-driven person in the world. i tend to do things without considering the bad consequences. i told him "i don't want thinking about what's to come to limit how i behave--if bad things turn up then you deal with them afterwards"--so this is kinda pointless sitting here talking about an upcoming year for me.
so i'll skip all the gooey may you have a lovely year and whatnot. life doesn't move by days or years it moves by love--and i don't mean to say that in a cheesy way--i mean love at what you do at who you're with at what you believe in--which is rarely found--so don't mind the numbers on the calender flowing fast--they don't really mean that much. strive to make a life for yourself in beauty and inspiration and joyfullness. there's a glow to the people who do what they want to do with their lives--be one of those people. find things love them and love them blindly make them flow through your veins and lose yourself in them--feel that very string within your stomach tremble and waves within rise--i don't know--i see all these lovely people worried about a future--doing all these things that when they were kids they spoke of never doing--which you should pay attention to by the way--when you're a kid you're as free as a streetpainter you dream all you want--and they all lose focus of themselves--they don't think of finding something they love but rather something they're good at.
don't be one of those people. i beg you, do not be one of those people.
love art. love music. love creation. there is nothing like the sound of an instrument right in front of your eyes. or better yet--you already either love those things or you don't. if you do--then find as many as you can, consume them, burn them, swallow them. i don't know--just if your heart beats that way, then do not let it skip a beat. songs and words and poems and stories. do not waste them, do not hurry them into your life. take their time. think of them. cherish them.
do not yield to others. do not become a liar. do not assume you're loved--you are not as often loved as you think. be honest to yourself, don't expect affections of people you no longer have affections for. understand your desolation and cherish it. try not to hurt your parents for as much as you can. learn to love your roots, but grow tall towards the sky.
listen to good songs. they'll do things to you you've never dreamed of. hear good stories. you'll find yourself in each one.
don't laugh when someone speaks to you of love.
i don't know, there are things that pop into my head. truth is no two people are similar. consider this me talking to me. and before i take off--here's a lovely song. it's in fact a queen/bowie masterpiece but i though this cover was pretty decent. chaplin has a tone very similar to mercury's. but you definetly do miss the wonderful bowie in it. still, it's a beautiful song and very appropriate to the general theme of an upcoming year.
happy new year, everyone.
cheers.
ps: i just checked out the stat section of my blog and i saw overwievs by people in all these amazing countries like tunisia and luxemburg and russia and everywhere else. if you do see this, please do leave a comment.
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