rank strangers to me

indian summer's long past at this point i assume. the sky turned greyish and i see the branches revolting against the roots. so i'm thinking autumn's living out its last few days of decent weather and soon it'll be rolling thunders and snowy rains.

with two weeks of school behind there're some fishy things going on. i didn't leave the house today, yet, which felt good. i had a big breakfast with my brother mama and cousin and did some latin work. tried to indulge myself in chapters of middle east but failed. did squeeze in a few pages of milton though.

the rumour's out that i seem a little down this year. tense and unhappy, "angry" a friend described "quiet" another one pointed out (to which i responded "maybe i matured out" and he didn't seem to think that was necessary anyhow). i honestly do not know where the notion comes from but i'm thinking hearing the same line from a few different heads eliminates perception. i feel perfectly fine (not worse than usual, at least). detachment may be my recent air of being, but reproach and misery i'm thinking, aren't exactly what i have. i guess my recent revalations and peace treaties with hopes/plans/nightmares of the future and my final decision about taking of afterwards have kept me aloof--seeing i share nothing in similar with noone i know (them worrying about very important things such as career and alternative routes of making money [i hope my comrade won't take that personally or as an insult, i do joke around often on the subject through her lovely struggles which i know for certain will result in the best of ways] ) and me being in a state of existence far stays out and about of all those worrying about how i shall be free and where i shall go and to what shall i turn my back to (family and such strong devotion hamper one's wings with velvety ropes) so it all seems vain and meaningless to me and to what i desire they have no contribution whatsoever. that being said i guess little room is left for any common ground and any plesant outlet of affections--which i personally find it hard to dig out as days pass and even littler sharings are left.

a few things happened of joy though. without exposing to much i heard of a lovely news of a lovely friend who days before had me smile upon claiming "he should get me outta his life" since i kept going up against the walls he would like built against foreign intrusion. and something even greater came out of all that and my faith in the outer declarations of truth even got stronger, and i felt like one of the few persons who when giving an advice trusted upon her own beliefs and feelings--of which she herself acted upon way way before--a way of your actions holding up to your words--and it felt good know you do really do as you preach

second thing of joy--the new followill album is out. pyro already is a gem, and pickup truck is no less magnificent. though i wish they kept the instrumentation simpler in the back, considering that that voice of the singing one is worthy of gods--literally--very milton, to be honest all that fallen yet graceful form kinda deal--and the rest of the soudns seem to muffle him out a bit, in my opinion that is. and it's a bit more of the same--considering the drastic changes that happened in between the other albums--but it's still a beauty. i missed my bus the other and had to wait for 30 minutes exact for the next one--there in drizzling rain and the first round of listen i gave to come around sundown which made me praise my luck rather than curse it for missing out the bus.

the whitmark demos are obviously out. i'll probably get my hands on them soon enough and boy it's gonna felt awkward to listen to those--seems some of them will be written by zimmerman when he was around my age. makes one start comparing even though mountains and mountains lay between.

i do really wanna talk about joyce a little but this post is getting outta hand. so i'll take my leave for now. enjoy the weather.