forget things i did when i was cruel, cruel, cruel

a wise man once growled: you can never hold back spring. you can never really hold back anything that's bound to happen anyhow, but spring is now here and i'm thinking for good this time, and i have as always shit load of crap to deal with, mostly school-initiated. this year's been the toughest for some reason, i have an avarage of 2 papers and 1 page latin translation per week which takes more time than you think.

so as you would guess my streams of creativity have been forced to dry out leaving their lively shimmer to bleak grey obligations. i'm trying to muddle through anyhow in the meantime infecting my most certain friends with a dangerous dose of uncertainty--not to take any credit but perhaps i would say it's better to doubt now that to doubt 5 years from now--we think life is long and endless but it's endlessly in danger if you ask me--why waste time with anything that does not fully capture your heart? others would say time flows and if you can't decide on anything now than time won't stick around and wait for you to do so. which is true in itself. perhaps truer than my way of seeing things. dylan was 20 when he hitchiked to new york city. ezra pound knew what he wanted to do when he was 15. perhaps those who can not decide (such as myself) are those who are not incredible. who are not extraordinary. that's always a thought.

the burning pink hyacinth mother bought is now dead and gone, i'm keeping the last paragraph of my naked lunch to a precious coffee session tonight. had an insane day yesterday starting from a morning coincidence like no other: seeing a friend in the most unlikeliest place in the whole town and i realized surroundings come alive through those that are in them--we walk through streets and sidewalks and alleyways without really perceiving them unless someone faimiliar enters in and then all comes to life. anywho it was an incredibly long day though--with many unfortunate events--had to change vehicles about 12 times until the moment i walked home, possible spent over 6 hours on the road in a single day, that is. so am tired and beat and a little aching, but latin calls, and i should end it here before it gets cheesy--

and i think this song has enough spring and enough aching and just enough undecisiveness in it-so enjoy. cheers.