Friday, July 16, 2010

don't think twice...

"don't ask forgiveness," laughed natasya flippovna,
"that would destroy all the strangeness and originality"


F.D.

oh dear

how frightening the existence of all them spirits in love.

ah for the last two days the walls are coming down on me lines don't flow songs don't sound the same the air man i swear the air had been taken from the universe and me alone i'm trying to survive struggling like a fish on land--words even words have long betrayed their existence and shrugged and declared finally that they are not worth a dime--all because the comrade in name opens up pandora's box and sets loose all them evil things--love longing liking hating jealousy waiting--and now i try to stretch the lid back over the damn jar but it's impossible i pull and i push but alas the war has been lost--days shorter nights shorter life shorter--there it is in the morning when you wake up there it is lurking at the side of your desk at the screen of your damn computer who before showed no signs of life until that moment it is in pound and ginsberg and bukowksi all three proven to be useless by the way when i forced them to go up against it praying the front lines i drag them to would distract me and remind me of all the complicated intellectual smart people dilemmas and the great things like life death and lumberjacks but lord has anything ever been so simply invincible!-- no i've lost all battles on all lines and soldiers bleeding and broken and whitman blows softly and his breath tickles the wings of the butterfly and smiles as if to say "dear child have i taught you nothing?" and cummings strolls by proud to be the one who figured it out the first and grins michieviously as if to say it's a death trap we all fall in sooner or later

this this this i can not deal with simply for its simpleness there are no back and forth no questions or answer no puzzles or riddles--oh it is so simple and the moment you know it in your heart you can not unknow it but all this anger and resentment and hatred!

dear god the hatred--


But goodbye’s too good a word, gal
So I’ll just say fare thee well
I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

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