summer days summer nights

all right--never done this before (posting at length at work) but here it goes. some of the few remarks over the past few days.

first and foremost--last night. i got to see a good friend of mine that i hadn't been able to see in a while--a friend of mine with whom i have struck a pleasent chord--we seem to be able to coexist on a very ironic sincere fun basis and he's one of those people whose goodness of the heart i am certain of. moreover we got to discuss stuff (as people do when that bitter taste of alcohol swirls down their throats) about why people think of things and won't tell or what or how you could be "soul-less" and how and why should affections be shown--whether or not there are dangerous phone numbers that always comes up when you're drunk or how drunk is ok drunk and all that. ah and we talked about conflicting acts and emotions. i said what i've always believed in--that one should either "be as you seem or seem as you are" (a lovely turkish phrase that once finally in my life popped into my head instead of some eliot opening or pound snippet)and any other way is just trouble. if you do something then make damn sure you want to do it, or that you feel like doing it--crying afterwards doesn't count. it makes one think that either at the time of the act one wasn't sincere or at the time after it. my dear friend with a good heart and a solid future, facing my rock hard hatret of "phony" people-- i hope understood my point--"I'm working on that."

and there are the other beautifult things that lurk on a night like that one--the tram that has the live band hooked behind it--the single most greatest thing ever happened in this city, the dusty yellow butterflies that have invaded everywhere, the heat that flows through your tongue right after the wind does, the wine itself, obviously; trying to order to some random fella having a smoke by the stairs thinking he was the waitress because a minute before i had announced "man they're all tattood all the way to their wrists"; trying to find those little machines (hıbıd as i decided to call them) to take a stupid lousy picture on the streets we walked about 7 million times all our lives --and the pleasure one takes from that, taking pictures and moving and getting to places and then getting to newer places, and that friend of mine with the good heart and the solid future saying "why don't you ever let anyone be quiet"

considering that i spent my last 2 weeks practically on the streets-i'm left now with no money and no energy but lovely memories and good stories of summer days and summer nights--

went home last night to grandma's place who wasn't there, so watched some tv and locked the door myself and all the great things that you do when you're alone, put the trash out, woke up on my own, got breakfast from a bakery. then there i walk on the streets of my life--that little town which is ironically called if you translate it properly "the green village"that town that town like no other will be where i will one day leave my childhood behind

anywho there i walk and blasts in like a rolling stone and we walked with bob slowly down the empty streets lost in a conversation entirely of our own

so now it's a new day. i'm planning take the rest of the week off to get my sleeping back in order and to spend some time on my own. you know me i like having my good time but lord knows i need my rest

so so long for now. hope i'll be able post again soon.